It's Time to Taste Your Own Heavenly Juices

Happy super empowered ladies week!

I spent years salivating every time I saw a couple feeding each other chocolate-covered strawberries—food, sex, and laughter all wrapped up in one indulgent, messy, sensual experience. Ah, fondue, you seductive little minx.

So, I waited. And waited. You’d think there’d be at least one saucy, food-date night in a relationship that lasted over a decade. But nope.

"It’s too messy."

"We’ll have to wash the sheets."

"You’ll get chocolate everywhere."

Sexy lingerie? Men always buy the women they love sexy lingerie, right? I did have a boyfriend buy me some, once at the beginning. After that, anything remotely sexy was a thing of the past.

Then there were the grand gestures. I had two boyfriends tell me about how they used to buy roses for their partners. One decided his next girlfriend would get a rose every month to mark their milestones. But because the last one broke his heart, he needed to "wait and see" if the investment was worth it. Another swore he once gave his ex a rose every week—until he got bored of it a month in.

*sigh*

Is it the men’s fault in these stories? No. Fault is a strong word. The reality is, we had men who hadn’t worked through their own shit getting into relationships with women who severely lacked self-confidence—myself included. It was a recipe for disappointment. Neither of us had the foundation to make each other feel secure, and honestly, we were never going to, because deep down, neither of us felt like enough for the other.

And when you don’t feel like enough, you keep looking to someone else to make you feel it. But that’s not how self-worth works.

I’m not even sure I completely consciously decided to be single. Just like my spiritual journey so far, it’s been part of my evolution. It’s not that I wouldn’t put up with that kind of thing anymore—it’s that it’s just not part of who I am. My twenties were about navigating the ebbs and flows of self-confidence. Now, I’m rocking in my self-worth.

I took steps.

The Moment I Took Charge

Last week, I had my first chocolate-covered strawberry. With me. And holy shit.

I had spent years waiting for a man to show me a good time with food when I could have just made them myself. And you better believe I made some over-the-top "oohhhh" and "mmmmm" noises as I took every delectable bite. That moment wasn’t just about strawberries—it was about reclaiming my own pleasure, about realizing I didn’t need to wait for someone else to bring indulgence into my life. And neither do you!

We spend so much time waiting—waiting for the right moment, the right person, the right excuse to treat ourselves. But why wait when you can start now?

That shift in mindset didn’t start or stop at strawberries.

A couple of years ago, I started buying really beautiful lingerie. Don’t even breathe the words Victoria’s Secret near me. That stuff doesn’t even come close to my wardrobe—Bordelle, Chantal Thomass, CoCo De Mer… high-end pieces that feel like art. The kind of lingerie that makes you literally feel like a goddess. Sheer silks and lace that whisper divine feminine energy as fuck. When I wear sensual, sexy lingerie there’s something about it that unlocks this power within, to feel sexy for me and me only in that moment, letting that quiet confidence shine.

And flowers? I buy myself flowers, I don’t need to wait to see if I’m worth the investment, I AM the investment. Not in a passive-aggressive, "I don’t need no man" way. There’s no frustration or resentment—just me, surrounding myself with high-vibrational gifts from the earth—bright colors, energy, and beauty that elevate my space. And while we’re at it, anyone can dance in the rain, no matter their relationship status. What are we even talking about here?

This is not an article telling you to buy yourself things to make you feel better. The point is: that you do not have to wait.

Go pick some flowers. Have a single Starbucks shindig. Dress up in your favorite lingerie, with succulent foods, surrounded by flowers. Light the Palo Santo, drink your cacao, and have some… scream-your-own-name time.

But let’s talk about gifts. Because that one took me a little longer to unwrap!

The Gift-Giving Myth That Tripped Me Up

Every birthday and Christmas, I used to go through the same cycle. If he didn’t shower me with gifts, my mind screamed, What’s wrong with me?!

And when you’ve been fed stories like "I used to give my ex roses every week, but she broke my heart, so I don’t do that anymore," it starts to mess with your head. I internalized it. If he’s not doing that for me, maybe I’m just not enough.

Each new relationship had a lot to live up to—not just in romance, but in friendships and even family dynamics. I convinced myself that people who really cared would naturally know exactly what I wanted and surprise me with the perfect, thoughtful gift.

Spoiler: That’s not how love works.

No one ever told me that. No one sat me down and said, “Hey, love isn’t measured in perfectly timed surprises or milestone gifts. It’s built on presence, in effort, in consistency.” Instead, I spent years tallying up what I was (or wasn’t) receiving like it was some kind of scoreboard for my worth.

Ladies, we can be really bitchy to ourselves, but that brings me to my next point, we can also be absolute asshoesTM to each other too.

Women Are Exhausted From Competing With Each Other

Women are tired these days. Tired enough to lash out at each other. Have you seen the verbal attacks on Pamela Anderson and Drew Barrymore for not wearing makeup? Let’s be real—women drag other women way more than men do.

And no, that’s not just an opinion. A decade of social media analysis backs it up. The women who throw the most shade? They often don’t see themselves as beautiful. So when a woman who has been upheld as the beauty standard ditches the makeup and is still breathtaking? It triggers something deep.

Because it challenges the belief that beauty is something we paint on, something we earn through effort and validation. If she can be effortlessly stunning without it, then what does that mean for the women who have tied their self-worth to the illusion?

Studies also show that the number one reason women seek therapy and coaching is self-confidence. That elusive, magnetic energy that makes you feel good about yourself.

But here’s the thing: Most therapists and coaches are wildly misinformed about what actually creates lasting self-confidence. And the secret ingredient? Self-compassion.

Society has programmed us to wait for external validation before we allow ourselves to feel good. And men are taught the same thing. Why? Because it keeps us controlled. If you feel weak, insecure, or not enough, you’re more likely to buy into whatever “fix” is being sold to you.

And don’t even get me started on how bubble baths have somehow become the epitome of self-care. “Light a candle, pour some lavender oil, and suddenly you’ll love yourself.” Please. Shower gel and warm water aren’t going to transform your life. It’s marketing. It’s “buy this and feel better” with zero tangible results. Will you feel relaxed after a bath? Sure. Will it change your life? Fuck no.

But imagine if we were actually taught to cultivate self-worth first. To build self-compassion before seeking approval. Where would all these billion-dollar industries be then? Because they wouldn’t have your pennies, would they?

Beauty Is an Inside Job

This is where we see just how much self-love and compassion are still lacking—especially among women. We can’t blame men for everything. The biggest divide in humanity right now isn’t just men vs. women—it’s women vs. women.

And the irony? Pamela Anderson radiates beauty without makeup not just because of genetics, but because of confidence. The audacity to break societal expectations and let her inner beauty shine outward.

Proof that real beauty? It’s an inside job.

The Science of Self-Perception

Here’s a mind-blowing fact: People see us as more attractive than we see ourselves.

Why? Because when we look in the mirror, we see a flattened, slightly distorted version of our own face. Our brains also focus on "flaws" that no one else notices. Studies on the True Mirror—a non-reversed reflection—show that when people see themselves the way others do, they’re often shocked at how much warmer and more attractive they look.

The incredible powerhouse that is Sia, was recently stopped and asked, What makes you so confident? She replied: Mirror work. Every day, she looks in the mirror and takes her negative thoughts, flips them into positive affirmations, and says them out loud.

You don’t have to wait for anyone to show you a good time. To romance you. To take you on dates. To tell you you’re beautiful.

That will all come, and damn will it be amazing when it does. But until then? It’s time to take control.

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💋 Buy the lingerie. 🍓 Feed yourself the chocolate-covered strawberries. 🌹 Fill your home with flowers.

Continue being wildly, unapologetically in love with yourself—because that’s the one romance that lasts forever.

And for the love of everything, put the celebrity takedown culture to rest.

Go be beautiful. Be radiant. Be you.

And since we’re building up to International Women’s Day, let’s take this energy all the way. I’ve put together an Empowerment & Self-Empowerment Routine on my website—it’s free, it’s powerful, and it’s ready for you to step into your power. Just press play. 🚀

Because this? This is your time. 💥